As you know, a few weeks back I spoke with my friend Mya about what it’s like to move forward when you have left an abusive marriage and the grieving process that takes place along with that. The cycle of grief that this entails is something that I think we all experience when we go through major changes in our lives. But what if we have experienced the ultimate loss? What if we’ve had to experience the loss of an immediate family member, a sibling or a parent?
I myself lost my mom at the age of 12 and know first hand that the process that one goes through in this case is not a linear one and it can also resurface at any time without notice. The grief that you go through in the loss of someone you love and cherish leads to tremendous suffering and pain. It can feel as though there isn’t a single other person that knows what you’re going through. For myself, the holiday season has always led to a resurfacing of painful emotions. So this season, it let me to wonder, what can one do with those emotions, whether fresh or after some time has passed? It just so happens that I had the opportunity to speak to Erin Kelly, who is a volunteer for an organization in Saint John called NB Copes. It was started by Pam Pastirik and is designed to help families connect with support in order to cope with their grief. This group runs retreats, conducts art based therapies, and organizes outdoor activities which allow people of similar age groups to meet others who are going through what they are going through.
Having experienced a loss of an immediate family member herself, Erin was very interested in helping when presented with the opportunity to help others grieve the loss of their family members. As a trained Social Worker, Erin is the leader of the youth group.
Of all of the ways that a support group of this nature can help, one of the most powerful ways in through connection itself. I once heard Brene Brown share a story in which she said that the lack of connection in ones life can be as detrimental to your health as a pack of cigarettes a day. It is therefore no surprise to me that connection can have such a healing impact. Erin shared with me that the youth in her group form such strong bonds that they begin to connect outside of the group. This was truly amazing to me, especially with how isolated everyone has been this past year, particularly our youth. There was never a bigger need than right now for people to connect in general, and to have someone else by your side who understands the complexity of the pain that you are going through is an incredible gift.
Although a relatively new organization, they have already experienced successes and the hope is that the future will allow NB Copes to become province wide. I share in hoping with them that this happens as it is clear to me from speaking to Erin that they are starting to fill a gap in mental health services related to grief that exists within the province. I’m extremely grateful that Erin was able to take the time to share with me what this group of amazing volunteers are striving to accomplish.
NB Copes can be found at www.nbcopes.com, by e-mail at connectnbcopes@gmail.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/NBCOPES.